Algorithm or Ally? Why Your TikTok "Must-Have" Therapy Model Might Not Be For You
So, you’ve spent the last forty-eight hours down a digital rabbit hole. Between a video of a golden retriever "acting ADHD" and a high-production infographic about "shadow work," your feed has convinced you that you have three undiagnosed personality disorders and that only a practitioner certified in one very specific, obscure 1970s modality can save you.
We get it. In a world where structural racism, rampant capitalism, and the crushing weight of the gender binary make "just vibing" impossible, seeking a name for your pain is a survival strategy. When the system is designed to keep you burnt out and alienated, finding a community—even a digital one—that validates your experience is powerful. It’s why so many of us search for a neurodivergent-affirming or a BIPoC and LGBTQIA+ allied therapist who actually "gets it."
However, there’s a tricky intersection between being online with you algorithmic tribe and ordering therapy like it’s a DoorDash delivery.
The "A la Carte" Therapy Trend
Lately, I’ve noticed a surge in prospective clients arriving with a very specific shopping list. It sounds a bit like this: "I need a trauma-informed therapist who does strict EMDR for my ancestral trauma, but only if they use this somatic technique I saw on Instagram, oh, and can we skip the talk therapy because I’ve already 'solved' my childhood via a podcast."
It’s clever, it’s researched, and it’s deeply rooted in a desire for agency. But here’s the actual truth: Social media is great at identifying the symptoms of a sick society, but it’s less great at the messy, non-linear human work of actually healing within it.
Why the "Perfect Modality" is a Myth
While specific therapies and techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Somatic Experiencing have their place, the hyper-fixation on "The One Technique" often stems from a few very valid (but frustrating) places:
Capitalist Efficiency: We are conditioned to want the "hack" or the "optimization" that comes from insurance companies “managed care” models that fixes us in ten sessions so we can get back to being productive (i.e., getting back to work/laboring).
The Safety Search: For BIPoC and queer folks, demanding a specific type of therapy is often a shorthand for: "Will you actually “see” me and be able to understand me, or will I have to spend my session fee teaching you about who I am?"
Pop-Psych Reductionism: Media often presents therapy as a series of "ah-ha!" moments. In reality, effective therapy is often a series of "oh, shit is that what I’ve been doing!" moments followed by gradual, internalization of self and life truths and knowledge, skills that add up to sustainable growth and solid wisdom.
Beyond the Infographic
The irony is that while colonization and class divisions are the source of much of our distress, the cure isn't always found in a trendy acronym. Research shows that psychological healing happens in the therapeutic relationship between client and clinician—the stuff that doesn't fit into a 30-second reel. It has much less to do with the modalities, therapies or techniques.
Getting good and solid mental health treatment is about finding mental health support where your rage at the housing market is just as welcome as your grief over a breakup. It’s about a therapist who understands that your "anxiety" might actually just be a very logical response to a 40-hour work week and a crumbling biosphere. Alignment with your therapist is more important than most other factors.
So, by all means, bring the TikToks. Bring the ideas of what theories and therapies you’re curious about. Let’s look at them together. But let’s also leave room for trusting that a therapist that gets you is also going to be one that's trained and experienced in what works best for your clinical presentation. Because while you are the expert on you, any therapist worth their salt will be an expert on which therapy model(s) is/are best for what you’re experiencing. And if nothing else, these are decisions that are made together in the treatment space.
Remember, you’re more complex than what an algorithm, including any new, flavor-of-the-year therapy model it may be trying to feed you, and you deserve psychotherapeutic treatment that reflects that.
Disclosure : This blog article was written with the assistance of AI, but the topic, themes, sociopolitical perspectives, and tone were wholly derived from the author.